Thank God for Somali Pirates

I remember being told by a good friend, who happens to be a psychotherapist, that delayed gratification is a sign of a balanced mind. You know, it’s when you really want to gorge yourself on cakes or sleep with a thousand people, but then you count till 10, have an apple or a cold shower, and reconsider your choices. Basically it is all about not giving in to temptation and feeling good about yourself for doing so.

We are living through very interesting times. Our markets have proven to us that they, just like us mere mortals, are anything but rational let alone balanced. Chaos and uncertainty abound all around us, and yet order has not broken down. So someone like Robert Allen Stanford or Bernard Madoff can still count on due process and a fair trial. Between them, they have destroyed the lives of untold thousands, many of whom would love nothing better than to lynch them. No chance in hell, for they shall be afforded all the niceties that white collar criminals throughout the world have come to expect: bail, house arrest, nice clothes and a long, long life. We may have unbalanced minds as individuals, but by not hanging Stanford and Madoff tomorrow, our societies are displaying a most balanced collective mind. Very frustrating, I hear you say!

His application to join the Mogadishu Posse was turned down on account of his not having a code of honour when he stole from his friends

And despite his tan and Carribean connections, his was turned down on account of being too white. Pirates need to blend into their environments.

Now that’s all fine and dandy if you have a balanced mind. But for most of us, such a thing is a rare luxury indeed. Often, we just love nothing better than getting that buzz that comes from instant gratification! Life’s too short for the delayed variety. You never what might happen if you don’t pull the trigger now, and miss on all that fun. And that brings me to piracy.

This man can help us make our capitalist system simpler and has given our jaded justice system a much needed boost. He and his likes have not only hijacked ships, but news headlines too

Luckily the rise of piracy has come to our aid. For it is through it that we can give vent to our anger and sense of helplessness. A crime that we had relegated to the history and story books has come to our aid during these, our most demanding time. I must say that I am so chuffed that piracy is back! There is something so Romantic about it and it takes us back to more uncomplicated times. You know, it is a really old-fashioned crime. The disappearance of the manufacturing base in the West has meant that theft involved a lot of intangible assets. We had to invent such terms as “white collar crime” which, I don’t know about you, you can’t relate to and most importantly, you can’t really ever punish too harshly. Look at Madoff, Enron, and the like… Piracy takes us back to a simpler age, and the best thing is that you get to kill the bastards straight away rather than waste endless money and time trying to extradite them!

It looks like dead and surrendering pirates to the average Joe, but this is nothing less than a paradigm shift for us. Instant justice!

Somali pirates remind us of how badly we need more simplicity in our lives. In the process, they are also showing us that simpler and better regulated markets – and it doesn’t get any simpler than shipping and supertankers – are more likely to produce more obvious criminals less likely to produce massive fraud and chic white collar crime. Next time they hijack a ship and ask for a ransom like they did with the Saudi Tanker Sirius Star, let’s send them Madoff and Stanford. Now that’s what I call extraordinary rendition.

If Madoff could hide it in his dodgy accounting system, he would have. But it was too obvious and couldn't bring him the kind of returns that could finance his expensive tastes. He lived in Manhattan, not Mogadishu. Instead, he turned to a less regulated and more sophisticated market which was far easier to hoodwink and steal from.

© Sameh El-Shahat 2009

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/0c99d484-0751-11de-9294-000077b07658.html